Life has taught me that when I feel lost or am searching deep for an answer that I can not seem to figure out to immerse myself with nature. My first experience with this came at one of the most challenging stages of my life in my early 30's. As I sat in my brokenness and hopelessness, a gentle voice and nudge told me to to start a garden. I thought...Me? Start a what? No way do I want to put my hands in the dirt. You can't be serious?!! You are talking to the same person whose mother was called up to her middle school because she refused to participate in a science experiment involving worms. I still do not like them, but I've come to respect their importance.
I went ahead and followed through with this quiet nudge to start a garden. Now, I must say that it was probably just as shocking to me as it was to my neighbors who watched the woman that they only saw in suits, high heels, and flashy car turn into a woman in her Baltimore City backyard with a scarf tied around her head feverishly sweating and toiling. I guess I looked like someone going through an identity crisis. Truth be told. I was....The career that I identified with came to an unexpected end and I had no idea of which direction to go...I was also at a stage of letting some unhealthy habits go..So, here I was every morning getting up and going out to dig up the deep rooted grass clearing the landscape for what was to come. I relentlessly dug as the sweat poured. I dug through as the soft painful spots in the palms of my hands turned to calluses. After many days of digging up grass, discarding the old, and turning over dirt, my yard was ready to be transformed into something new. Only then, was the ground ready for seeds to be planted. I found myself immersed in the garden section picking out various seeds and transplants. I carefully planted each one. Now, the empty spaces I cleared were full of seeds, veggie transplants, and flowers. The foundation was set, but the process was far from over. Every day as the morning sun was starting to radiantly emit its rays, I would get out and check for weeds and water my garden giving each plant the space and nutrients they needed to grow. That morning sun was absolutely amazing as it beamed on my skin.
As this journey continued, I found that same quiet voice inside telling me to reflect and pay attention to the process. As I watched, my garden wondrously bloom and blossom, it all came together. I realized that this is also the journey of life. Life requires taking time from the hustle and bustle to listen to the gentle nudges that come from within. Just like preparing for my garden, crisises are downright messy and hard. However, crisises also provide the opportunity to turn the messy and brokenness into something absolutely beautiful. As I was digging up the old grass in my backyard, I was learning that the old has to be disrupted to prepare for the new. As I planted my seeds and transplants, I learned the new can only come when you release and let go of the old no matter how deep and stubborn the roots are. As I checked and pulled up weeds, I realized how important it is to evaluate the people and things you are allowing in your space, because if weeds are in your space, they will suck up the nutrients you need to thrive and grow. As I watered my flowers everyday under the morning sun, I realized just like flowers, we must also provide ourselves daily with what is needed for us to grow and survive. I realized that plants with a scar or blemish, if nurtured can still grow. As I looked at the how each flower and leaf was unique in its own way, I realized so are we. Most importantly, our lives are our gardens. What grows there is what we choose and whether we are willing to invest the time and energy to grow what we want to see. Not only did this experience change my perspective regarding my life's journey, it also changed my perspective and approach to my health. We can find all we need to grow, heal, and survive in the power and beauty of nature. To be continued....